Manageable Plants to Decorate With (Faux Options Too!)
Andrew has a green thumb! He takes care of all the plant babies I bring home. He’s sharing his tips and tricks to keep our plants looking their best—and which realistic faux plants to mix in!
Yea, so over the years of Heidi’s random and whimsical plant purchases, I have learned a few tricks to keep our plants looking their best. We now have some great plants that really make our house a home. Before I show off a few of our favorite/best-looking greenery, I’ll give you what I call the Three Proverbs of Plant Perfection:
Remember indoor plants are exactly that, indoor only. Don't make the mistake of giving your plants “real” sun (kiss that plant goodbye).
Plants only need two things, water and sunlight. Too much or too little of either and they will let you know. If your plant is not happy, you only have to change one of two things, water or sun.
Fertilizer, yup plant food. Bring your plant game to the next level with a little boost. A little plant food will help your plants grow faster, bigger and greeeeener. I use indoor plant food pellets. Shake some on top of the soil every few months and watch the magic happen!
Pothos | Level 1/5
Oh that pot tho! No really, you will want to buy every cute pot to show off your pothos.
Now, this little guy is the jam. Give him some decent sun and water and drain once the soil gets dry to the touch. The pothos is everybody's dream plant. It just goes and grows. We have a few pothos scattered in different areas of our house. Once the plant gets a little too long and viney we just cut it back to size. Or if you happen to screw-up plant proverb number two and ended up on Death’s door, just cut off the good leaves with nodes! With the cuttings, you can root them in a glass of water and replant them to make a whole new plant! Master this plant and it literally can be the only pothos you ever buy.
Snake Plant | Level 1/5
Tall and spiky. With a name like Snake you better believe this is one tuff son of a gun.
This plant can really walk the walk, and talk the talk. The snake plant looks like a badass and it actually is! Little water and sun required. This plant is excellent for a dim corner or an office desk. We have our snake plant tucked into a corner and it does great. I water it about once a month, only because I feel bad, it probably could go even longer. If you want a good looking plant without the work, then the snake plant is your guy. Just don't be surprised if you catch him shakin’ down the neighborhood kids for their lunch money.
ZZ | Level 1/5
ZZ D O double gizzle. For rizzle dizzle.
The zz plant is one laid back gangsta. With its mind on its sunny and it's sunny on its mind. But for real tho, very little sun or water required. The zz plant can take anything you throw at it in stride. We keep our zz in our bathroom with a very small window and water it about once a month. It seems like this guy grows a new branch every other week. Although, I have noticed it prefers to be watered with Gin n’ Juice...
Spath | Level 2/5
Big, green and bushy! No, not that crazy one night stand in college...
The spath is a great plant to add a splash of green to your home. They don't need direct sunlight or much water. Wait till their soil is dry and give them a good soak and drain. If your spath gets droopy and sad after a missed watering, don't worry! They will perk right back up after a good drink. Our spaths have settled in our living room and are illuminated with light sun throughout the day. Give them a little love and they will give it right back!
Chinese Evergreen | Level 2/5
Evergreen. It's literally in the name. Nuff said.
The Chinese Evergreen is another one of those plants that requires very little effort. You probably have seen this plant all the time in malls, and you know how much sun a mall gets… not much. They can deal with low sunlight and are great for an area far from windows. They like their soil damp but can handle a missed watering here and there. We keep our Chinese Evergreen in a dim corner next to our bedroom dresser. This dude is a winner for a first plant!
Monstera | Level 3/5
The magazine plant. Yes, this is the plant you see in magazines.
We got our monstera as a gift and it’s a real stunner with its big green split leaves and long wandering branches. I wish I could say this gal was easy to maintain, but she sure ain't easy. If you forget a watering and her leaves will turn yellow and fall off. Water this beauty at least once every two weeks or when her soil looks dry. Water from the bottom and she will soak up what she needs. As for sun, the more the better. Give your monstera bright sunlight from a big window if you have it. We had our monstera in our bedroom and it almost took over the room! Luckily you can cut and replant the leaves to make more monsteras. She’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Fiddle Leaf Fig | Level 5/5
Fickle as a fiddle! Quite a fickle thing the fiddle leaf fig is.
This beautiful tree is truly something to be admired with big waxy green leaves. When these trees are cared for properly they will make all your friends jealous. Getting them to look that good in your home is a completely different story. Heidi and I call this the fickle fiddle for good reason. Not enough sun and the leaves will turn black and die. Not enough water and the leaves turn brown and crack. It took some time, but we finally figured our fiddle out. Our fig has since grown so tall that we propagated it into two trees! Two figs for the price of one ;). Place your fiddle leaf fig next to a big window with direct morning and mid-day sunlight. Give them a good soak once the top two inches (at least) of soil is completely dry. Do this and your tree will be looking fit as a fiddle!
Faux Plants | Level 0/5
The easiest of all plant varieties… the fake ones!
Have you ever found a spot in your house where every plant dies, no matter what type of plant? Well, a brand new fake plant might be in your future! They are always green, never need water, and don’t even think about the sun. Maybe just give them a light dusting from time to time. Heidi and I have a few fake plants scattered about our house. Sometimes it's nice to add a splash of life to a dark corner, without the actual “life” part.
top row: string of pearls; blue spruce stonecrop ; snake plant
bottom row: succulents; succulent; string of pearls
RIP: To All the Plants I’ve Killed Before
Yes, our plant owner journey has not been without its tribulations. Heidi and I have said goodbye to quite a few plants. Below are just a few honorable mentions to those plants who did not survive our learning curve. To all my dead homies:
Rubber Tree: We sure had high hopes for you. I gave you water and sun, but obviously too much or too little of both. I never quite figured you out, but I'm sure you are in a much better place now.
Mass Cane: Man you were one cool looking plant. You were also one of my first plants… Sorry about that. Surviving my beginner skills wasn't so easy back then. Maybe in the future, we can have a good run of it.
Lucky Bamboo: So, I guess you weren't that lucky after all... Thanks for teaching me plant proverb number one. I guess that bit of real sun was a little too real. Best of luck in the afterlife old friend.
Aloe: Oh Aloe Plant! Snapping your leaves off for natural moisturizer was really fun while it lasted. Unfortunately, your leaves don't grow back as fast as I can snap them off. You were short-lived, but my sunburn really appreciated your sacrifice.
